Friday, February 22, 2013

High Five for Friday #1

I've been following Lauren for quite some time and, guys, I think she's just adorable.
She has this "link-up" thing that she does, which I've wanted to join for quite some time now.

Let's just pause for a moment and comment on how inept Esther is at "social" blogging.  I don't have any idea what the purpose is of a "link-up" or if I'm even saying or spelling it correctly, but here we go anyway:

1.  I got to work on Saturday morning to find this beauty right out my windshield as I parked my car

2.  On Sunday, I dropped everybody off at Camp after church and felt like taking a country drive.  I found some tall Pines and could not have been happier.

3.  This doesn't look like it should be a highlight of anybody's week...

but when it happened, I knocked on Seth's door and he immediately came to help.  It was such a good example of the fantastic community I live in and a reminder that I should be immediately ready to serve others.  Even if I can't help them with their flat tires, I can at least make them dinner or something.

4. Speaking of which, this week, my sweet roomie was sick, which was not a highlight, but it did give me a great excuse to get in the kitchen and make some chicken soup. I had a wonderful time listening to Needtobreathe and Phil Wickham, chopping veggies like my life depended on it.

5.  A dear dear friend will be leaving camp soon and I've been milking every moment I have left with her close by.  We had a lovely night in Bastrop this week and caught this view in a parking lot.

From (1) one parking lot to (5) another parking lot.  How's that for full-circle?


Sometimes people you love have unexpected health issues and surgeries as a result.
Sometimes one of your second-graders in Children's Church, the precious doe-eyed one with dimples and shaggy hair, sits against the wall, and when you go to check on him, he tells you he just wants to blow up all the supplies and burn the whole place down.
Sometimes the sun doesn't shine for days.
Sometimes it hits you that you might be single for the rest of your life and you have to fight Apollyon as a result.
Sometimes you cry and you don't know why.

But sometimes, oh friends
Sometimes you call your Mom and she already knows because she's been praying for you for the past three days so you don't have to explain anything and you can just listen to her voice for a little while.
Sometimes the wind is at your back and the sun is on your face as you jog next to a precious friend.
Sometimes you are unexpectedly in possession of a new (to you) car.
Sometimes your boss sets half an orange on your desk just because.
Sometimes you escort a nice Grandfatherly stranger to the Marmax on a golf cart because he has nothing better to do than to drive all the way out to camp to see if it's easier to fit 7 or 8 chairs around a round table, and for a minute, the two grandfathers you lost are right there beside you.
Sometimes a friend whom you haven't talked to in a while sends you just the words you need to hear.
Sometimes Orion comes out of hiding and reminds you again that you're not alone.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Today Was Sunny

The past five days or so have been possibly some of the worst I've had in many years, culminating with me crying in the office last night in front of my director and the CEO, both of whom I love and am incredibly comfortable with, but really, Esther?
(Sheesh, how about that for a crazy run-on?)

Okay, so maybe some of you have really good memories that stretch all the way back to the episode where Esther cries in the dentist's office.  And maybe those of you with the long memories are beginning to doubt all of this Esther-really-doesn't-ever-cry business that I keep trying to feed you.

But let me tell you, ask anybody outside of my family, and they have probably never seen me cry.
I mean ask anybody outside of my family other than the CEO of camp, my director, and my dentist...

I mean, seriously.  After the whole crying-in-the-dentist's-office experience, I felt like I was scarred for life.  I had no idea how that happened.  It was just like it came out of the middle of nowhere.

Also?  I'm pretty sure he was scarred for life as well.  I had an appointment last week, and he was about as nice as he could be.  I mean, talking to me like I was an emotionally fragile 5-year old kind of nice (which, come to think of it, is probably pretty much how he views me now).
And do you think he mentioned a single word about my wisdom teeth, which are all four still firmly lodged in my mouth?
No sir, he sure didn't.

In the office yesterday, it was the same way.  One minute, I'm talking like a normal person, the next moment, I'm sobbing.

Many times, I've expressed to people how frustrated I am with this crying-less-than-once-a-year way of "handling" my emotions, or rather this lack of emotional maturity and appropriateness.  So maybe this crying-at-the-drop-of-a-hat method of emotional expression is just a step on the journey to learning how to cry at appropriate times?
No, don't answer that.

One thing I did notice was that, aside from the real reasons for the emotional turmoil of the last several days, there was hardly any sunshine to be seen until yesterday afternoon.  Now, we all know that Esther does not do well with lack of sunshine (see item number 1), so maybe that had something to do with it.

Maybe I'll never know, and maybe that's okay, but I do know two things:
  1. Currently I'm listening to Jack Johnson, Michael Franti, Bob Marley, Colbie Cailait, and Van Morrison, and if that doesn't cheer you up, you're probably not entirely human
  2. Today was sunny

So, folks, I'm pretty sure Esther-who-doesn't-cry-all-the-time is well on her way back from wherever she ran away to.